The insidiousness of life driven by Gates' "divine angel of discontent" is standing before me this morning as I take stock of our family budget (after what has been a painfully tight year). My brother went to the woods with his bow this month and brought in two deer, which means our financial need for the coming season has decreased in light of the many pounds of meat added to our freezer. Against that decrease in financial need, the sense of obligation is increased exponentially. I find that a very different form of payment is asked for sustenance when yours have been the hands to bring an end to heartbeat and breath, to carve meat into cuts and saw through bone. The end-of-year accounting for our family's needs and desires now also has to bear witness to those wild lives traded for our continued survival, the ones who will no longer be returning to the land they might know as home. When the cost of living is counted in lives instead of abstracted into dollars, the arrival at "enough" comes swiftly and with clarity. (Also, it might be challenging to sew pockets sturdy enough to hold gifts of such weight.)
Thank you for this beauty, Jan. It is a dark vision of life of property-acquiring and pocket-filling, and that educational process seems to have been remarkably effective, and self-reinforcing.
I will share that I have a friend in a 12 step recovery program who spoke recently about coming to terms with a "resentment" she has had for several years. Towards a group of nameless, faceless people who she did not even know. In 12 step philosophy, resentments are killers. Unless resolved, they can cause a person to lose their sobriety, which in turn, could mean death.
My friend shared she had gone through the process of releasing the resentment against this group of people. What came in its stead was forgiveness. And a loosening of fear.
That the forest forgives us, the wild forgives us.... this brings tears to my eyes.
That piercing love that holds within it already the seed of grief--oh yes, i know it well!!
Vulnerable, innocent wild. You expressed the heartache I've had my whole life for places and beings that are destroyed. I've hated humankind for this. i suppose now I have to consider forgiveness.
I shall remember this piece a long time. Thank you.
Thank you for these tears and for the uncomfortable deep contemplation reading this inspired in me about my own generosity and the places where my fear lives, my distrust, my abiding love within the greater love that holds us all.
Thank you, Adam. I feel myself taking a deep breath and my eyes welling up. Much needed amidst all the post-election din and fury here in the U.S. Your writing helps me to realign and focus on what matters; how I want to be in the world.
The insidiousness of life driven by Gates' "divine angel of discontent" is standing before me this morning as I take stock of our family budget (after what has been a painfully tight year). My brother went to the woods with his bow this month and brought in two deer, which means our financial need for the coming season has decreased in light of the many pounds of meat added to our freezer. Against that decrease in financial need, the sense of obligation is increased exponentially. I find that a very different form of payment is asked for sustenance when yours have been the hands to bring an end to heartbeat and breath, to carve meat into cuts and saw through bone. The end-of-year accounting for our family's needs and desires now also has to bear witness to those wild lives traded for our continued survival, the ones who will no longer be returning to the land they might know as home. When the cost of living is counted in lives instead of abstracted into dollars, the arrival at "enough" comes swiftly and with clarity. (Also, it might be challenging to sew pockets sturdy enough to hold gifts of such weight.)
Thank you for this beauty, Jan. It is a dark vision of life of property-acquiring and pocket-filling, and that educational process seems to have been remarkably effective, and self-reinforcing.
So moving, Adam. Thank you.
I will share that I have a friend in a 12 step recovery program who spoke recently about coming to terms with a "resentment" she has had for several years. Towards a group of nameless, faceless people who she did not even know. In 12 step philosophy, resentments are killers. Unless resolved, they can cause a person to lose their sobriety, which in turn, could mean death.
My friend shared she had gone through the process of releasing the resentment against this group of people. What came in its stead was forgiveness. And a loosening of fear.
That the forest forgives us, the wild forgives us.... this brings tears to my eyes.
That piercing love that holds within it already the seed of grief--oh yes, i know it well!!
Vulnerable, innocent wild. You expressed the heartache I've had my whole life for places and beings that are destroyed. I've hated humankind for this. i suppose now I have to consider forgiveness.
I shall remember this piece a long time. Thank you.
Laurie in Connecticut
Resentment sits at the heart of it. Thank you for bringing that word into the conversation.
Your writing helps remind me of how I want to exist in this world: keeping an open heart and mind to walk in awareness and love. Thank you. ♥️
Thank you for this kind note.
Thank you for these tears and for the uncomfortable deep contemplation reading this inspired in me about my own generosity and the places where my fear lives, my distrust, my abiding love within the greater love that holds us all.
This is beautiful, Amy. Thank you.
A soul-boost to read. Thank you.
Thank you for this.
Thanks Adam.
I just had to share this article with you, mainly for the final quotation in the list. It reminded me of you -- and also our mutual friend, Dougald.
https://theconvivialsociety.substack.com/p/amulets-against-the-spirits-of-the
Thank you, James. Do you mean the Illich quote on hospitality?
Yes, that one! Totally reminded me of you.
A very thoughtful reflection. We give from empty pockets.
Thank you for your note, Henry.
Have sat with Tree… Who so generously glimmered
the wild in me is the wild of We…
Remembering practices that help us blur the boundaries of the self---that's most of what the work is about here. Thank you.
Love
Thank you, Adam. I feel myself taking a deep breath and my eyes welling up. Much needed amidst all the post-election din and fury here in the U.S. Your writing helps me to realign and focus on what matters; how I want to be in the world.
Thank you for reflecting this back, DJ.