oh Adam, once again your writing makes me weep, full of poignant joy. You are leading us--and yourself--forward, step by heartbreaking and beautiful step.
I always enjoy your work. This letter gave me much to think on. I am familiar with NVC, though my perspective is that it is usually wielded as a weapon, and used selfishly, and certainly in a violent way! I had a gut reaction against it and none of my experiences with it since have changed that. I love the perspective of being needed and not needy. I try to practice this in my own life, and am humbled by how one's own needs are met a thousand times over when one's focus is on meeting the needs of others.
"One's own needs are met a thousand times over when one focuses on meeting the needs of others." This is brilliant. I'll be employing this phrase. People tell me often that I should spend more time engaged with "self care." I just don't see it. Maybe I'm just puritanical, but I really don't see it.
Well I think it depends on what people think of as 'self-care'. Self care can be drinking a cup of tea while watching the sunset. Or you might just get a big dose of self-care while you're engaged with helping others! Yesterday I agreed to help an elderly lady with trimming her horse's hooves. It turned out she couldn't drive, so I picked her up, and took her to the pharmacy and the grocery, and then we went to see her horse, I trimmed the hooves, then I took her home. So I was helping her, but you know what? I had a wonderful afternoon of very interesting conversation with her about our shared interests. She had a wealth of knowledge about horses built over many decades. I went home feeling very happy and felt I had gained a huge amount from the time spent.
Grateful to follow your journey from afar Adam. As one who has lived the majority of my adult life outside of the margins of the norm, I often feel like a lunatic and wonder if its all truly worth it. But reading your work reminds me that there are other lunatics out there, folks living and searching for a wisdom that seems like madness to this world.
This is a fantastic piece, Adam, and I hope it's snuggling in amongst other pages destined for the book. Also, the illustrations are fantastic. Looks like your book will be rich in beauty, too, if the ink works can sidle between those covers.
I got the feeling yesterday that this piece gave me a chance to honor some of the elders who nudged me forward. Thank you for picking up on that and reflecting it back. Blessings.
Beautifully wrought wonderings here. I remember well the gut punch of the idea of proceeding as if we are needed, on the heels of a heartbreaking *discourse* about the scourge of self hatred in the Dom Cult of NA.
It's good to hear you, Nicole. It's funny I never thought before to shorten "dominant culture" to Dom Cult. I kind of love it. I read once from Charles Eisenstein a piece listing the ways in which the Dom Cult is more cult-like than any sub-group in the US could ever be. Fascinating. And thank you.
I’m interested in that list now though it’s depressing to imagine. A look in my etymology book confirms the shared root of cult and cultivate and how cult has broken off into the sinister
This might be one of my very favorite among all your pieces so far, Adam. I’ve already been back to re-listen several times. The elements you’re drawing together in word make for a stirring inner vision (and Annie’s imagery nests beautifully here).
Have you ever read Helen M. Luke’s essay on money?
I’m not sure if it’s available in digital form. I’ll send it your way if you’d be interested in reading! Your remark about earning being linked to the grain fields is what brought her to mind, as she touches on that link.
oh Adam, once again your writing makes me weep, full of poignant joy. You are leading us--and yourself--forward, step by heartbreaking and beautiful step.
Tears are a very good sign. Thank you for the report, Lisa.
I always enjoy your work. This letter gave me much to think on. I am familiar with NVC, though my perspective is that it is usually wielded as a weapon, and used selfishly, and certainly in a violent way! I had a gut reaction against it and none of my experiences with it since have changed that. I love the perspective of being needed and not needy. I try to practice this in my own life, and am humbled by how one's own needs are met a thousand times over when one's focus is on meeting the needs of others.
"One's own needs are met a thousand times over when one focuses on meeting the needs of others." This is brilliant. I'll be employing this phrase. People tell me often that I should spend more time engaged with "self care." I just don't see it. Maybe I'm just puritanical, but I really don't see it.
Well I think it depends on what people think of as 'self-care'. Self care can be drinking a cup of tea while watching the sunset. Or you might just get a big dose of self-care while you're engaged with helping others! Yesterday I agreed to help an elderly lady with trimming her horse's hooves. It turned out she couldn't drive, so I picked her up, and took her to the pharmacy and the grocery, and then we went to see her horse, I trimmed the hooves, then I took her home. So I was helping her, but you know what? I had a wonderful afternoon of very interesting conversation with her about our shared interests. She had a wealth of knowledge about horses built over many decades. I went home feeling very happy and felt I had gained a huge amount from the time spent.
Grateful to follow your journey from afar Adam. As one who has lived the majority of my adult life outside of the margins of the norm, I often feel like a lunatic and wonder if its all truly worth it. But reading your work reminds me that there are other lunatics out there, folks living and searching for a wisdom that seems like madness to this world.
You've named the central reason I write. We must send each other smoke signals.
This is a fantastic piece, Adam, and I hope it's snuggling in amongst other pages destined for the book. Also, the illustrations are fantastic. Looks like your book will be rich in beauty, too, if the ink works can sidle between those covers.
High praise from you, Caro. I'm glad the work stirred something there.
Thank you for your writing; each piece inspires me a little bit more and keeps me a little more focused on what matters. 🕊️♥️🤲
Thank you for this kind note.
When someone looks at you like you have two noses, you've cracked them open a little, just like Stephen and Derrick have for you and I both.
As ever, with love and thanks, as ever, J.
I got the feeling yesterday that this piece gave me a chance to honor some of the elders who nudged me forward. Thank you for picking up on that and reflecting it back. Blessings.
Beautifully wrought wonderings here. I remember well the gut punch of the idea of proceeding as if we are needed, on the heels of a heartbreaking *discourse* about the scourge of self hatred in the Dom Cult of NA.
It's good to hear you, Nicole. It's funny I never thought before to shorten "dominant culture" to Dom Cult. I kind of love it. I read once from Charles Eisenstein a piece listing the ways in which the Dom Cult is more cult-like than any sub-group in the US could ever be. Fascinating. And thank you.
I’m interested in that list now though it’s depressing to imagine. A look in my etymology book confirms the shared root of cult and cultivate and how cult has broken off into the sinister
This might be one of my very favorite among all your pieces so far, Adam. I’ve already been back to re-listen several times. The elements you’re drawing together in word make for a stirring inner vision (and Annie’s imagery nests beautifully here).
Have you ever read Helen M. Luke’s essay on money?
Thank you for this, Jan. I haven't read the essay you mention, but I'll take a look for it now.
I’m not sure if it’s available in digital form. I’ll send it your way if you’d be interested in reading! Your remark about earning being linked to the grain fields is what brought her to mind, as she touches on that link.
What if … indeed Adam. Thank you for your eloquent reframing of how we might be, how we might live among…